We begin life with
only the names our parents give us. Kathy Hansen came into the world as
Kathleen Ann Wallace. She began her life as a daughter, niece, cousin and
granddaughter. Before long, she became a sister, friend, spouse, aunt and
mother. Later still, she became a grandmother. These were her titles, but to
each of us, she was so many different things. Whether she could see it or not,
within her, she was all of them. In that way, she was more remarkable than any
single one of us could ever have experienced. She was complex and so much more
than she gave herself credit for. In that way, one might say she was humble—a
trait we all strive for.
Barbara remembers
a story about her when she was a toddler. While Kathy was learning to talk, she
couldn’t say banana. Instead, she would call them blemoms. Barbara would look
at her and enounce with care, b-a-n-a-n-a and Kathy would look up with big eyes
smiling and say, blemom, for the umpteenth time. There is some consensus that
when Barbara was at the hospital giving birth to Randy, Kathy stayed with grandma
Van Dusen and came home saying banana correctly.
By the time Kathy
was 10 and with Barbara’s guidance, she became a caregiver, housekeeper and
cook. Then she added tractor driver, wood piler, root picker, bale stacker,
chicken feeder and egg collector to her many roles.
Kathy was always a
thoughtful philosopher of sorts, contemplating life, as well as her place in
the world. Everything she read, listened to and saw, inspired her. She
collected sayings, music, movies, unicorns and fairies. She even collected her
own thoughts and experiences in the form of journals. Kathy had many talents
and she loved everything cute. In fact, some of the puppies she raised joined
her family when they were a little larger than a mouse. Through love and play,
she taught her dogs wonderful tricks, proving their amazing playfulness,
intelligence and individual personalities. She loved her furry friends.
When Kathy was
young, Harley and Barbara bought a Honda 50 dirt bike for the kids. That bike
was the center of numerous adventures. One time, Julie and Kathy were out for a
ride. Julie had partially fallen off the back and instead of stopping, Kathy
called out, “Hold on! Hold on!” Julie did as she was told, and as she was
dragged behind, the back tire rubbing a tire mark on her belly. Fortunately, no
scar resulted, other than an indelible memory that Julie will always cherish.
That was not the
only accident Kathy had. When the family dog was a puppy, Kathy ran over him
with the bike and broke his leg. For a month, he lived in the house in a cast
Barbara plastered on him. It was because of the cast that we named him
“Hop-along Cassidy”—Cassidy for short.
Kathy seemed to
love music more than most people and sang karaoke whenever she had the
opportunity. Her love of music was probably passed down to her from Barbara. On
the family’s numerous long trips, she orchestrated the singing in the back seat
of the car using a songbook of lyrics she brought along that she and her brothers
and sister sang from cover to cover on each ride.
While she worked at
the studio, Kevin and Laurie recognized her love of music and provided a
stereo. She kept them supplied with CD’s she loved. When certain songs came on,
she and Laurie would groove out until customers came in, at which point they
would stop so they could look responsible. It didn’t matter where they were—when
there was good music, they would dance. Even when Kathy was hurting, and knew
she would pay for it with sore feet, or knees the next day, she still danced. When
she would take the kids to the river, she would often open the car doors and
crank the music. They would dance with their mom with no cares in the world. Music
was the backdrop for fun on so many occasions. Nearly everyone who wished to share
something about Kathy, made some mention of it.
Bryan wrote a song
entitled “I’m Losing You” when he was about 15 and as it turned out, Kathy may
have liked it more than he did. She learned it by heart and when she hadn’t
seen him for a long time, she would often sing it to him.
To some degree,
Kathy was a hippy. When she was younger, she made bellbottoms from old jeans by
adding triangular pieces of fabric between the seam from the calf to the hem on
each leg. She wore halter-tops and chokers, and listened to Fleetwood Mac and
John Denver.
When Kathy was 18,
she met and married Marty Hansen. At the time, he was someone she considered a
kindred spirit. Although their relationship was difficult, their union resulted
in two beautiful children, Tristain and Jeremy. She later met Bob Stewart and
completed her family with the addition of Vanessa.
One winter, Kathy had
problems with her little finger. It would swell and cause her pain and
sometimes she even required antibiotics. She realized the cold weather was part
of the difficulty, so she crocheted what she called a finger toque to keep it
warm. Of course, it was just that—the cutest little hat—so she embellished it
by adding a bow. Before the winter passed, she had made and decorated nearly
thirty individual toques for her pinky. There are so many, I doubt she would
have worn them all.
When a friend of
the family, Walter Wigmore, lost several fingers to a snow blower, Kathy made
little finger caps for him, too. Eventually, the miniature toque movement faded
and she decorated a small tree by hanging them on its branches—yet another
testament of her creativity.
She was a dancer,
a singer, a painter, illustrator, calligrapher, crafter, writer, outdoor
enthusiast, seamstress and even a mechanic at times. Professionally, she
excelled at her jobs and was proud of her work regardless of what she did.
Shortly after she graduated from high school, she worked as a caregiver to the
elderly at the Omineca Lodge. After the kids were in school, she became a cook
at the Blue Spruce restaurant. For 10 years, she worked as a photofinisher
during the era of 1 hour photography at Wallace’s Photo and Frame. She was
quick and efficient, often achieving feats of amazing speed when she was
swamped by an influx of film.
Throughout her
life, Kathy took every opportunity to learn new skills. When she got her first
computer, she was unstoppable, buying drives, more computers then collecting
and copying movies and music. She worked as a drywaller by mudding and
painting. Amid all of this, she volunteered at Neighbourlink. People she worked
with remember what a fun loving and hardworking person she was. For a while she
worked for Vanderhoof Community Services driving children to see their families
and later returning them. Most recently, she came full circle by combining her
experience of working with the elderly and cooking by making meals for the
residents of Riverside Place.
She was more than
a friend in the way she sometimes helped others develop their own creativity.
When Randy was in grade 5, she helped him write a poem for a school assignment.
They were both proud of the final creation, and although the teacher felt the
piece deserved no more than a C+, that mediocre work was the creation of a memory
that has lasted for more than forty years. Who knows? Had the teacher been able
to predict its significance, she may have marked it differently.
Kathy’s motherly
instincts developed at an early age when Harley and Barbara entrusted her with the
care of their children, including Kevin, their youngest. One of his earliest
memories involved sitting on her knee while playing with a blue car he received
from Santa at Kathy’s elementary school’s Christmas celebration.
Kevin’s babysitter
was not the only way Kathy was involved in Kevin’s life. When he was 5, Kathy added
the role of coach as well. His athletic future must have been of great importance
to her, because she took it upon herself to teach Kevin an acrobatic move that
shall henceforth be known as the “bunkbed dismount.” This complicated maneuver
involved sliding off the top bunk headfirst. Kevin’s subsequent broken arm
ended his season and terminated both, his gymnastic and Kathy’s coaching
careers, simultaneously.
One of Kathy’s favourite
classes was art. When she was in grade 12 and Kevin was in grade 7, she took
him to her art class where Kevin made a clay version of “The Fonz” from the
sitcom Happy Days. Kathy fired and painted it for him and he still has that
sculpture to this day.
Julie will always
think of herself as a normal little sister, because she was into everything
Kathy cherished. Most of the time the two girls got along very well. They had
to. They worked together preparing meals and cleaning the house as part of
their daily routine. But when Kathy got old enough to wear makeup, everything
changed. Whatever Kathy had, Julie also wanted and sharing a room made getting
into Kathy’s belongings that much easier. From then on, continual complaints of
“Mom, she won’t stay out of my makeup!” ensued.
Caring for others
seemed to be a theme throughout Kathy’s life. During the winter 2006, Barbara
was hit by a pickup in the intersection by the theatre. Once she was able to
return home, she had terrible troubles with balance and strength. Kathy took
time to be with Barbara and help her with her daily routine, which included
everything from preparing meals to getting in and out of the bathtub. It was an
act of love Barbara will never forget.
When Randy
suffered a massive brain bleed and was finally able to leave the hospital, he
required constant supervision. Kathy spent hours at his side making sure he
followed the strict protocols the doctors had given him. Later, when he
developed a cerebral spinal fluid leak, and was sick all the time, she was
right there taking care of him, making sure he was getting his daily doses of
Gatorade—one of the only beverages he was allowed to drink because of the
electrolytes it contains.
Kathy was very
generous, even though she had so little. Some of the gifts she put together
must have taken days or months to complete. Kathy was always giving little
gifts tailored to each person. Sometimes it might be a scarf, a necklace, a
little pair of earrings or even Tupperware. When Megan had Alice, Kathy
collected a bag of baby toys from the thrift store and washed them up for Megan
and the baby.
Kathy was an
amazing cook. At family gatherings, we knew she would bring the stuffing and
gravy. We all really appreciated the stuffing, and of course, an added benefit
was that it simplified the baking of the turkey. Until this past thanksgiving,
Kathy had not shared her secret for making perfect gravy, but now we know that
in order to achieve success, the flour must be cooked for exactly 12 minutes. Kathy
truly was amazing. She could make even the gamiest tasting moose into a gourmet
meal.
She often cooked for others as well. This spring, Kathy fed Megan’s
family for two weeks after Alice was born. Krista still remembers the cookies
Kathy made. When company came over, Kathy would take bags of cookies out of the
freezer and put them on top of the wood stove where she warmed them up.
Somehow, they were better that way. They always tasted like they were fresh out
of the oven.
And if all those virtues are not enough, Kathy was a jokester, too.
She seemed to have a never-ending supply of jokes and one-liners for every
occasion. Every conversation at the kitchen table would remind her of a joke and
she’d add to the enjoyment of family get-togethers by sharing them.
Kathy loved a
great bargain. She loved good shoes and shopping, so she had the best supply of
good shoes. Her feet were a little smaller than Laurie’s, so when she got a new
pair, she would often have Laurie wear them for a little while to stretch them
out. A couple of weeks ago, Kathy was at the studio showing Laurie how easy
online shoe shopping on eBay was. Together, they ordered a pair. When the shoes
came in, Kathy brought them into the studio all brushed up to look like new. It
was the sort of act-of-kindness that Kathy was known for.
When Kathy was
quite young, she began to cut hair for her family. Most of the time, the work
she did was thoroughly appreciated, a gift everyone had probably become too
complacent about over the years. It was too easy to take for granted her acts
of kindness. Unfortunately, the haircuts did not always go as planned. One such
incident happened for Randy during her early stages of haircutting practice. His
hair was particularly curly when he was younger, so when she cut the hair over
his forehead and failed to take into account what would happen when it dried,
it curled into a tight line, high line on his forehead. His embarrassment at
school was only comforted by the knowledge that his hair would eventually grow.
Fortunately, she improved and he loved all the subsequent haircuts.
At least for Randy
no blood was involved. For years, Harley was the beneficiary of her haircutting
talents without incident, and it’s a good thing that quality shears are
surgically sharp. For one, it makes cutting hair much easier. For another, it
means that cuts usually heal quickly. On this fateful day, while she was
cutting Harley’s hair, her shears slipped. Suddenly, Kathy’s mouth dropped open.
In an instant, blood was everywhere. Fortunately, Barbara was close by. She
recovered the piece of Harley’s ear and with Kathy’s help, they reattached it. It
is important to mention that Kathy was much more upset about the incident than
Harley was, and to this day, it’s almost impossible to tell that part of his
ear had been chopped off at one time.
Having a
hairdresser in the family was a luxury and for the hundreds and hundreds of
haircuts, only a handful were ever a disappointment. It was a gift of both time
and talent, and throughout all those years, she never expected payment.
Kathy enjoyed spending
time with her grandchildren and Vanessa will always be grateful for time they
were able to share. Both Kathy and the kids were particularly proud of the
fairy garden they built last summer and except to protect all the little
figurines, furniture and other paraphernalia, Kathy would have preferred to
have left them out all winter long. Although, Kathy wouldn’t have had it any
other way, Vanessa remembers with fondness Kathy’s support throughout her
Crones illness and all those years of pain.
Although she was
generous, Kathy was not always the giver. There were times in her life when she
was the recipient of wonderful gifts. In the spring of 2012, Tristain decided
to treat her mom to a trip to Hawaii, but they were devastated when Kathy broke
her ankle just two weeks before they were scheduled to leave. At first,
Tristain couldn’t figure out a way to bring her mom on the plane, but one night
a solution came to her, and in the end, they were able to go. When they
arrived, Tristain rented a wheelchair. The trip was a challenge, but together,
they triumphed over each obstacle. They went everywhere. Tristain pushed Kathy
around like she was a racecar. They jumped curbs and had a great time having
fun and laughing. Kathy was even able to swim in the ocean without a problem.
What made the trip most memorable was that Kathy seemed to enjoy herself in
every way that Tristain had hoped she would.
There were
numerous times when Kathy seemed to have all the right priorities. The year
Jeremy and Krista bought their house, they had a wiener roast. Kathy came
wearing little white sandals. By the time the evening was over, they were
completely covered in dirt and soot. That evening she clearly cherished her
time with others so much more than the clothes she wore.
When Jeremy first
began dating Krista, Jeremy bought her a locket. He got together with Kathy and
convinced Krista they were going to do a photo shoot. Krista went right along
with the charade, unaware until later that it had been a ploy to get a photo small
enough to fit in the locket.
One time, Kathy
showed up at Krista’s house without warning. When Kathy suggested she bring
Krista to her house as a surprise to Jeremy, Krista went along with it. It was another
kind gesture Krista will never forget.
Kathy struggled
with the sorts of troubles most of us will never have to deal with. It seemed
she was faced with one health problem after another for her entire adult life. To
make matters worse, a serious infection seemed to accompany each surgery. She
was always in pain from a knee joint she needed to have replaced and a year
ago, Kathy battled breast cancer. Kathy’s battles in life were often heroic.
Of Kathy’s
creations, her legacy and most important accomplishments will always be her
children. Throughout their individual struggles, Kathy has supported them to
adulthood. Each of them, in their unique way, has become a successful, caring,
adult.
Tristain’s hardworking
nature has served her well throughout her life. Her perseverance has been a
strength through her educational endeavours and has led her into a career she
loves and is proud of. Her caring nature makes her a wonderful friend and wife
to her husband Chip.
To Jeremy, she
gave the freedom to explore his many interests, which have included motorcycle
riding, learning to mechanic (even when he didn’t need to take things apart),
building, camping, hunting and fishing. He has become a hardworking provider
for his family and a loving husband and father. Jeremy has become a man of
quality who is proud of Kale and Kinley. Each day he is grateful for his loving
wife, Krista.
Like her mom,
Vanessa is incredibly artistic. The two of them often did art and craft projects
together. Because Vanessa lived in town, when Kathy needed something, Vanessa
was usually the one to call. Eventually, Vanessa met Jason. Together, they had
2 beautiful girls, Claire and Alycia.
She was the one
constant in Tristain, Jeremy and Vanessa’s lives. These wonderful people did
not become who they are by accident, and their broken road has brought them to where
they are today. The world will always have been a better place because Kathy
was part of it, and we will always miss and love her.
